Mount Crushmore: Settler Colonialism and Beer
There was a post a short bit ago on Good Beer Hunting about the writer's "Mount Crushmore" of beers. A monument to supremely influential beers in their life. I wanted to partake, but struggled because of my disdain for the actual monument. It is built on sacred (stolen) land and I struggle with that. As a therapeutic release, I decided to look at the exercise a little differently.
Craft beer fans think of ABInbev as big, bad guys looking to conquer and assimilate all that stand in their way. Sound familiar with any history stories? Perhaps the stories of some folks memorialized on stolen land? Maybe not to many of us as Americans, but that's like looking at ABInbev through Goose Island goggles. So if these guys on Mount Rushmore were ABInbev beers, who would they be? Let's do this!
George Washington - At the time of the revolution, one could argue the British were the largest imperialist nation. However, George Washington helped turn the tides (and establish a new imperialist nation). So which beer is he? Once the biggest beer in the UK and the largest brewery in the world, it eventually would be conquered by AB Inbev. George Washington is Bass Ale. Formerly under British control, now a part of a new empire.
Thomas Jefferson - “However our present interests may restrain us within our own limits, it is impossible not to look forward to distant times, when our rapid multiplication will expand itself beyond those limits and cover the whole northern, if not the southern continent, with a people speaking the same language, governed in similar form by similar laws.” I almost went Corona here, but since AB Inbev doesn't control them in the US I figured I'd go with a different brand. (And he'd probably appreciate being a craft brand). Thomas Jefferson's interest in westward expansion mirrors AB Inbev's efforts to get into every corner of the market here in the US. For Jefferson, I went with Elysian Brewing Company, bought out by AB Inbev in 2015. But what beer to go with? How about "Loser Pale Ale". Remember the logo on that one? "Corporate Beer Sucks." Welp, now it reads, "Corporate Beer Still Sucks."
Theodore Roosevelt - “While President, I have been President, emphatically; I have used every ounce of power there was in the office.…I do not believe that any President ever had as thoroughly good a time as I have had, or has ever enjoyed himself as much.” Teddy played a big role in our (imperialist) policies controlling Central and Latin America. (If we weren't going to do it, hey, Europe would!) Combine that with his emphatic statement of being President well...he is none other than Presidente!
Abraham Lincoln - Of all the ones in the lineup, you want to give this one some slack. He may have been part of a bad system and now a bad monument, but there was some good deeds there. This is the Goose Island BCBS of Mount Crushmore, standing tall above the rest despite his dedication to crushing the competition around him. And the Kentucky and Illinois connections are just icing on the cake!
Well, there ya go. This was my terribly fleshed out "Mount Crushmore" - crushing "craft beer" like true imperialists! I ran through this pretty quickly as a bit of a research + brain dump project, but it felt good.
Craft beer fans think of ABInbev as big, bad guys looking to conquer and assimilate all that stand in their way. Sound familiar with any history stories? Perhaps the stories of some folks memorialized on stolen land? Maybe not to many of us as Americans, but that's like looking at ABInbev through Goose Island goggles. So if these guys on Mount Rushmore were ABInbev beers, who would they be? Let's do this!
George Washington - At the time of the revolution, one could argue the British were the largest imperialist nation. However, George Washington helped turn the tides (and establish a new imperialist nation). So which beer is he? Once the biggest beer in the UK and the largest brewery in the world, it eventually would be conquered by AB Inbev. George Washington is Bass Ale. Formerly under British control, now a part of a new empire.
Thomas Jefferson - “However our present interests may restrain us within our own limits, it is impossible not to look forward to distant times, when our rapid multiplication will expand itself beyond those limits and cover the whole northern, if not the southern continent, with a people speaking the same language, governed in similar form by similar laws.” I almost went Corona here, but since AB Inbev doesn't control them in the US I figured I'd go with a different brand. (And he'd probably appreciate being a craft brand). Thomas Jefferson's interest in westward expansion mirrors AB Inbev's efforts to get into every corner of the market here in the US. For Jefferson, I went with Elysian Brewing Company, bought out by AB Inbev in 2015. But what beer to go with? How about "Loser Pale Ale". Remember the logo on that one? "Corporate Beer Sucks." Welp, now it reads, "Corporate Beer Still Sucks."
Theodore Roosevelt - “While President, I have been President, emphatically; I have used every ounce of power there was in the office.…I do not believe that any President ever had as thoroughly good a time as I have had, or has ever enjoyed himself as much.” Teddy played a big role in our (imperialist) policies controlling Central and Latin America. (If we weren't going to do it, hey, Europe would!) Combine that with his emphatic statement of being President well...he is none other than Presidente!
Abraham Lincoln - Of all the ones in the lineup, you want to give this one some slack. He may have been part of a bad system and now a bad monument, but there was some good deeds there. This is the Goose Island BCBS of Mount Crushmore, standing tall above the rest despite his dedication to crushing the competition around him. And the Kentucky and Illinois connections are just icing on the cake!
Well, there ya go. This was my terribly fleshed out "Mount Crushmore" - crushing "craft beer" like true imperialists! I ran through this pretty quickly as a bit of a research + brain dump project, but it felt good.
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